Is This Your Work? The Journey of a middle-aged, young Mason

In 2012, I was part of a local gaming group. We played a variety of games including some of the euro-import board games and various roleplaying titles, usually focused on rich story and political intrigue. One of our gamers was a really interesting character. He was a former rabble-rouser and very politically aware and active liberal guy who also happened to be gay. All of this may seem irrelevant, but it formed a picture in my mind of who he was and how I expected his life to be.

Then that all changed. One day, he told me he was a Freemason. "Wait... what... you?!" I must have asked with some obvious incredulousness. Yes, he was one of those old guys that sat around talking about Elizabethan politics over brandy and a cigar... or at least that's what I thought Freemasons were when they weren't out driving their clown cars.

This drove me to learn more. I started studying Freemasonry a bit and asked casual, low-key questions every now and then, trying not to step on any need for secrecy that would prevent his answering further questions.

This was at a time in my life when much had changed. I'd come out as bisexual to my friends and family over a decade before, but the process is never quick or simple. One of the more unexpected and tangential results of that transition was a change in my beliefs. I'd always called myself an agnostic. I didn't deny the existence of God, but neither did I think that there was likely an old man in the clouds waiting for me to pray to him. I had no particular faith, but more and more, as I questioned my role in society, I also questioned my role with respect to existence.

That all came to a head as I investigated Freemasonry. I started reading about men like Ben Franklin who identified as deists, and I looked into their beliefs. The classical deists were more or less Abrahamic theists without the dogma and generally held to a non-interventionist view (e.g. no miracles).

I thought: if this Franklin fellow could be a Freemason and hold more or less the same view that I do, why can't I?

So, I approached my friend and asked about joining the Fraternity and how one went about doing so? Did he have to ask me or could I just fill out an application?

I was invited to the Lodge and given a tour. My silly questions were answered and maybe I asked one that wasn't... I don't remember, but I know I asked about why women weren't in the Fraternity and why there were secrets and whether anything I'd be asked to do or take an oath to would violate my conscience... all of the usual stuff.

He reassured me on every point that this wasn't the kind of group that someone like himself would have any problem with, and so I was unlikely to be concerned, but that Freemasonry isn't a prison, and I was free to turn around at any time.

With this assurance, I took my first step. I came back for an interview and the application process a little while later and then panicked over whether or not they were going to reject me... it took so long (probably a month or two, but I was really wound up about it at the time).

In the end, my journey as a Mason began the way all of the worthy Brothers before me have begun: with that first step forward to the door of the Lodge room.

After my initiation, my mind was swirling! There was so much there! There was morality and philosophy and history and a kind of art that I had never experienced before! Like every earnest Mason after that first degree, I was overwhelmed and, of course, I'm still unravelling that experience today.

What struck me most in joining the Fraternity was not just the eagerness to have another set of hands... I expected that, but the eagerness to teach, to discuss, to puzzle out the nature of our work. This is now my work, and it will be judged by future generations, I suppose. Is it good work?